I adore this time of year! It is a time for love, joy, and reflection of the past 365 days. For me, I think a lot about my blessings in life. Everything I am thankful for; every opportunity that has surfaced; every person that has touched my life.

 However, this time of year also has the potential to really toast my marshmallows. The greed in people comes out; the nasty shoving in lines; the stampedes of Black Friday; the inevitable avoidance of someone’s lame Holiday party…

This is what our supposedly blessed Holidays have become.

When you think about this time of year, what comes to mind first… the precious quality time you get to spend with your family and friends, or the presents you are expecting to receive? Truly, truly answer that question. If it is the latter of the two, please do not be offended with my next statement (I will even throw in a ‘God bless your little soul’ to preface with so you feel a little better)…..

You are the swine that should sit upon the platter at a traditional Christmas feast.

Please, people, stop asking for the inappropriate ‘gifts’ at the holidays! Ask for what is truly necessary in your life. 

What are your actual needs?! 

Do you NEED that video game? Do you NEED that perfume? Do you NEED that lacey nightie that makes you feel the right kind of slutty?

My guess is NO! We need to start separating the WANTS from the NEEDS. 

Think about the homeless man on the corner. Do you think his mind is thinking of video games? Probably not. He’s most likely wondering when his next meal is going to be. He WANTS food. He WANTS warmth. He WANTS love. He also NEEDS all of these things to survive. It truly is life or death in his situation.

Of course we all want possessions and materials that we think improve the quality of life. If you cut down on this, I believe your life will be just as special. Try to make a conscience effort to limit the wasteful spending. When shopping this holiday season, think to yourself, do I really NEED this? Will I be able to live my life without this? Could this money possibly go to something else that will better my life? 

We are all lucky because the things that we truly NEED to ‘better our lives’ is money for bills, groceries, warm coats, gasoline, etc… for the homeless, the things they NEED to survive is a cot to sleep on in a shelter, a bread crumb they pick out of the trash to last them two days, a blanket they found that barely covers their poor, shivering bodies.

Maybe this Holiday season, change your perspective. Instead of getting out the cold and insulting ‘Christmas wish list’, pull out extra cans from your shelves and give them to the Food Pantry. Instead of buying 9 gifts for a child who most likely won’t remember anything he/she receives, buy only 7 and give the remaining money for the other 2 presents to the homeless shelter. Instead of asking for gifts from your loved ones, ask for time. There is nothing more generous than giving time. You do not need to spend a ton of money to make someone happy. When you give a gift, the person will say ‘thank you’ and move on. If you give something simple, say a heart-felt letter stating every reason why you love that person and how special they are in your life, they probably won’t be able to say ‘thank you’ because of the tears streaming down their face. What do you think someone will remember in ten years? A sweater or a letter that they still have tucked away in their drawer, and look at anytime they need a cheer up? I think we all know the answer. 

It may suck to not get gifts for the Holidays, but you can wean yourself off them! Every year, give one less present. If you have children, take them to the community kitchen, and let them help others. Down the line, when they request a possession they absolutely NEED, ask them, do you NEED it like those people NEEDED food at the homeless kitchen?! They will learn quickly the difference between a NEED and a WANT, and inevitably, their lives will be fulfilled. And most importantly, there will be one less snot-nosed, annoying, spoiled-ass brat in the world! (Can I hear a ‘Halleluiah?!!) 

Hold yourself accountable for being a role model, regardless if you have children or not. Hold others accountable for their greed. WANT less and give to those who truly NEED.

In my family, we quit giving gifts a long time ago. Instead, we are shopping for the troops. Guess what is not on their Christmas wish list? Video games, perfume, and a lacey nightie. Instead, their list consists of eye drops, tooth paste, socks, books for entertainment, toilet paper. They are the people who deserve everything in the world for risking their lives everyday, but they just WANT what they NEED for survival.

Having this tradition in my family has changed my life for the better. Instead of pulling my hair out and nervously biting my lip to find the ‘perfect’ superficial gift for a family member, I get to give someone the gift of warmth, the gift of food, the gift of true love. I am blessed enough to already have this in my life. They do not. Once you do away with presents, you see the light, and wish you have been doing this your entire life! There is no stress, there is no greed, you feel warm on the inside, you feel like you are accomplishing something. I want everyone to feel this beautiful, life-altering feeling!

Start now making this change in your life. We are put here to help. We are put here to love. We are put here to give back. We NEED to put the love back in the holidays.

I truly believe in all of you to make a change. And it doesn’t have to be just around the Holiday season. Give yourself to the people who are desperately in NEED year round! It may just involve talking to them, bringing them a dollar menu item, giving them the change in your pocket. Trust me, they NEED it wwaayyyy more than you. 

Make a New Years Resolution to help more and judge less. A year from now, look back and see how far you’ve come; see how your life has changed by giving instead of taking. Learn from the people around you. Be receptive to advice and truly listen. 

Let’s turn this world into a brighter one, where our futures glow with love, our lives are fulfilled with NEEDS, and karma is on our side. I love you all.

Peace and Happy Holidays.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Step right up! See the amazing Stephanie perform magic that will blow your mind!

 She will drink a beer with…………… no hands!! I repeat NO HANDS!

I know, I know! An absolutely spectacular and stunning trick! How DOES she do it??

So, maybe some people don’t consider shoving a beer can between one’s breasts a magic trick, but it sure was a crowd pleaser in college! And other than some honky tonk card trick, it’s the only (legal) trick I have to offer.

Magic is a powerful thing. I am a super believer in the craft, and people’s ability to use their mind to alter perception. Isn’t that what ‘magic’ is? Making people believe or see something that may not exist or be real. Levitation, disappearing acts, sawing people in half; it’s all about changing someone’s view, and making them a believer in the performer.

When we anticipate a magic trick, we allow our minds to wander to a mystical place, almost becoming like a child again. We feel giddiness and excitement, bringing our ass cheeks to the edge of its seat.  We wait eagerly, not knowing what will come next.

Magic transforms people and frees them from their stuck up, Johnny-in-a-suit, day to day routine. Why can we not allow our bodies to be uninhibited when the magic is not around? Why must we wait for something as small as a card trick to loosen up? We control our own happiness and destiny, so why can’t we have that blissful excitement all day, every day?

We can!!!

We can create magic in our own life. It is simple, and just takes a little bit of effort. Since magic is all about perspective, we need to alter our mind to allow it in our life.

For example, instead of sawing someone in half, sever off unnecessary stress in your life. Find the pointless drama and cut ties with it! After removing the insignificant things, or people, you will be an able body, ready to fully give love to the deserving.

Another translation of magic to real life could be a card trick. Instead of pulling aces, pull your head out of your ass, and open your eyes to the life around you. There is always someone in need. We were placed in this universe to give ourselves to one another, and there is nothing more magical than the act of kindness or compassion.

Since Houdini was able to escape from the death grip of a strait jacket, don’t you think we could escape from reality for a moment every day to meditate about the positivity and beauty that surrounds us? By manifesting 5 minutes a day, you could change your life, bringing yourself health, wealth, and love! Find the time to make your life magical, in its own unique way.

You don’t need the black hat and white gloves; put on the monocle that changes your perception on the world you live in. Don’t wait for the mystery of life to find you; find it yourself! Use your passion to bring the excitement to you.

Alter people’s perception of you. You are an incredible magician. You have the power in the tip of your finger to make a difference and change your image. Make people see you how you want to be seen; be the person you want to be. Walk the walk, talk the talk, and be genuine. That is true magic.

In this world, we don’t need the smoke and mirrors to create the thrill and anticipation of life. Recognize the gifts you are given every day, whether it be a loving relationship, a great job, or tits that stand up on their own! Whatever you are thankful for, use it as inspiration every hour of every day, so you never become bored with your universe. Wake up knowing you are constantly surrounded by magic, and work toward a mystical future.

Remember, you are the world’s greatest magician for YOUR world, and you hold ALL the power to your happiness and success. You will be the flaw in your trick; you will be wires you see. Trial and error is always necessary for success. Keep your passion alive and your inspiration fresh, so the missteps are enlightening stepping stools. Never give up on the magic in your daily life.

When ‘Abracadabra’ isn’t working, and you are feeling low on power, find a way to bring it back. Force yourself to find the magic and inspire creativity. There is no limit to the magic you have to offer; tap into it and share with others. You are in control of your energy and the pizzazz it brings with it!

But, of course, when all else fails, throw on a cape and crush a beer can between your breasts… it will never let you down.

Peace.